ItemWorld: Little Bo Heap

"There's a huge spider on my laptop," proclaimed Brit popster Imogen Heap, ensconced behind an arsenal of keyboards at the Varsity Theater on Tuesday. "If anyone sees it coming toward me, jump onstage and flick it away." One concertgoer had an explanation for the spider: "It's tropical in here." The sold-out theater was packed on the first summery night of May -- but a Varsity official said the air conditioning was on full blast.

JON BREAM

Mallman, Klosterman turn deadly

His 52-hour marathon gig in 2004 seemed like a death wish, so no surprise that Mark Mallman has committed to playing the songs of deceased rock stars at a June 17 promotion for Chuck Klosterman's semi-morbid book "Killing Yourself to Live." The Fargo-reared author will read from his book at 7th Street Entry while Mallman pays homage to Kurt Cobain, Sid Vicious, Jeff Buckley, etc. Klosterman is currently all over VH1 as a commentator in the butt-kickin' series "Heavy: The Story of Metal," where his gawkish, pale, bespectacled demeanor provides a nice contrast to all the manly rawk gods such as Nugent, Lemmy and Rob Halford (OK, bad example) -- just like the common metal fan.

CHRIS RIEMENSCHNEIDER

'Four more years!' uh ... 'Two more hours!!!'

Faced with a dramatic dip in popularity, the president told a Minneapolis crowd last week that the administration is not done yet. Make that the "fake" president. Geena Davis, star of the recently cancelled ABC drama "Commander in Chief," said at Orchestra Hall last Thursday that the show has not completely gone away. It's likely, she said, that a two-hour movie will be made in the fall, in hopes of reviving interest in the series, which premiered to boffo ratings, but quickly lost steam. "I will not step down," Davis said.

Yankee, go home

It's official: conservative radio talker Jason Lewis will return to town with a five-year contract for a new show on KTLK (100.3 FM). He made the rampant rumor fact this week during his Charlotte, N.C., radio show, telling listeners, "It's time for me to go home [to Minnesota] and raise a family there." He had gone from being the Twin Cities' top-rated afternoon-drive host (on rival KSTP-AM) to no better than No. 3 in Charlotte. No word on when he'll start at KTLK or in what time slot. Lewis told I.W. that one of the things he missed most about the Twin Cities was this newspaper. Really.

DEBORAH CAULFIELD RYBAK

Java jitters

A nervous Morgan Thorson clutched her coffee cup as four sets of choreographers and composers showed works-in-progress at last Thursday's "Music in Motion" performance at SPCO Center in St. Paul. No worries. Her work, the last on the program, was formidable and fresh, intelligent and riveting. "No Feeling for Harmony," with a live score by Marc Jensen, included startling performances by Justin Leaf, Jessica Cressy and Otto Ramstad, who hurled themselves through space with an explosive physicality tempered by sinuous lines and subtle drama. Wearing blousy pants and shirts smeared with grass stains, the six-member ensemble resembled a postmodern garden party gone studiously amok. The program's other commission was Deborah Jinza Thayer's giddy "All That Glitters," with shimmery film donated by 3M and music by Tom Scott. The show was the outcome of a pilot program of the American Composers Forum and James Sewell Ballet.

CAMILLE LEFEVRE

That's advertainment!

"Showcase Minnesota," KARE, Channel 11's hybrid of happy talk and advertiser-paid segments, will launch at 10 a.m. Monday in the slot formerly occupied by the "KARE 11 Today" news show, which disappeared March 24 in order to "put some space" between the old format and its non-news replacement, says KARE general manager John Remes. He said the station also needed time to build a new set for the show and hire talent: former Target trend consultant Corbin Seitz and Minnesota native/guy-at-many-out-of-town stations Rob Hudson.

DEBORAH CAULFIELD RYBAK

Minnesota fatties

Speaking of ads, I.W. noticed that June is a mondo month for local magazine publishers. Mpls. St. Paul is so heavy -- weighing in at a phonebook-sized 390 pages -- that readers might want to boost their preacher curl reps before picking it up. Rival Minnesota Monthly clocks in at a comparatively slender 206 pages, but its Midwest Home supplement fills a hefty 304 pages. National news-standers are wimps by comparison: Vogue is just 246 pages, Glamour squeezes out a scant 288 pages and even Oprah Winfrey's mighty O is only 286 pages.

RICK NELSON

Window into fashion

I.W.'s globe-hopping prize this week goes to "Paris sirap," a show about Paris, France, in Zagreb, Croatia, by an artist from St. Paul, Minn. Neda Miranda Blaevi-Krietzman, a College of St. Catherine professor, photographer, poet and general polymath, is the artist in question. Her show features pix of fancy-pants shop windows in upscale Paris quartiers that play off the reflections from la rue and the high-end wares within. She cites influences such as Sigmund Freud, Salvador Dali and Marcel Duchamp, but with works such as "L'Amour Fou," ("Crazy Love") featuring an accessory-laden vitrine of pink and leopard-skin handbags with matching shoes, belt, earrings, clutch purse, watch and gloves, I.W. is thinking more of Anna Wintour, Donatella Versace and Miuccia Prada.

JUDY ARGINTEANU