The 50 Worst Videogame Names of All Time
Posted by
Zonk
on Friday June 30, @12:27PM
from the avoid-the-noid-indeed dept.
from the avoid-the-noid-indeed dept.
Game Revolution has a great feature looking at fifty of the worst-named games ever to require a controller. They dig deep here, unearthing gems like 'Yo! Noid!', 'Awesome Possum Kicks Dr. Machino's Butt!', and 'Huygen's Disclosure'. From the article: "From Dick Butkus to Hootie and the Blowfish to Lake Titicaca, bad names have been with us forever. But thanks to the inevitable collision of reclusive nerds, bizarre artists and painfully unhip marketing execs, the video game industry enjoys some of the worst names of all. The following list was compiled after hours of lively debate, pages of exhausting science and one actual geek fistfight."
The 50 Worst Videogame Names of All Time
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XEXYZ
(Score:1)It could be worse!
(Score:2, Funny)No wait, MS just did with XP and Vista...
Missed a classic WTF one...
(Score:2){{ Ummm.... }} {{ English }} {{ Do you have it? }}
So that's the ticket
(Score:5, Funny)Re:So that's the ticket
(Score:4, Informative)(Last Journal: Tuesday June 27, @04:55PM)
Use your imagination with caution
Awesome Possum
(Score:3, Funny)Jumpman
(Score:1)(http://darthservo.blogspot.com/)
Yo! Noid!
(Score:1)Anyone else remember Kenneth Noid?
(Score:4, Interesting)Back in 1989, a guy named Kenneth Noid held up a Domino's in Georgia and kept the employees hostage for 6 hours. The man was paranoid delusional and thought that the campaign was directed specifically at him. The stand-off ended with no one hurt, and I believe the guy got off with an insanity plea.
I remember this in the news when I was a kid, because I'm from Georgia. It was "the big story" that day.
Turns out though, according to the Wikipedia, [wikipedia.org] the campaign was actually ended becase the artist who created the character wanted more money. That's kind of disturbing in a way.
Shaq-Fu
(Score:1)(http://www.sglider.net/)
What a rip!
(Score:4, Informative)Speaking of sequels, there are games like "Mega Man X" (right after MM6) and "Wizards and Warriors X" (sequel to W&W2, I believe) that just confuse people as to what game they are playing. Hey, what's all this "Super Castlevania IV" about? Is it better than regular old "Castlevania IV"?
Gah, now I need to make my own list.
Street Fighter
(Score:5, Funny)(http://www.otis.org/)
Oh, and who could forget the classic Street Fighter:The Movie:The Game? I mean, it was a game about a movie that was based on a game. Has that ever been done before? Movies based on arcade games almost universally suck. And video games based on movies also suck. But a video game based on a movie based on an arcade game? That approaches a level of suckitude that almost cannot be measured. Oh, and getting back on topic: The name sucked too.
Obligatory Animaniacs Reference
(Score:3, Funny)(http://www.hyperborea.org/journal/)
Why do we sing of its fame?
Lake Titicaca! Lake Titicaca!
'Cause we really like saying its name!
Low G Man
(Score:1)(Last Journal: Thursday May 11, @02:55PM)
Skidmarks
(Score:4, Funny)Linkle Liver Story
(Score:4, Funny)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linkle_Liver_Story [wikipedia.org]
Japanese names...
(Score:1)(http://www.corporate-sellout.com/)
What, no floppy?
(Score:3, Funny)(http://www.devinmoore.com/ | Last Journal: Thursday April 27, @03:04PM)
King and Balloon
(Score:3, Funny)Spaceship Warlock
(Score:3, Insightful)Irritating Stick
(Score:5, Funny)(Last Journal: Thursday May 18, @06:08PM)
I love the Japanese!
Worst anime names
(Score:4, Interesting)(http://www.animats.com)
Nuts and Milk
(Score:1)Mean Bean Machine?
(Score:1)Wow...
(Score:1)Zzyzzyxx not on list?
(Score:3, Insightful)I'm BAD! This list, however, is not.
M.U.S.C.L.E. ? #36?
(Score:2)(http://www.public.asu.edu/~corba3/)
Where's Seaman?
(Score:2, Funny)Colon Blow aka "Chasm: The Rift"
(Score:1)Ninja Golf
(Score:1)Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together
(Score:3, Interesting)But where in the !@#$ did they come up with "Let Us Cling Together"? I'm guessing it is where the minibots can cling together to create one large bot. Defeats the whole point of the original and is an incredibly stupid name (hence its place in this list). Had to have been a marketing droid that came up with this one.
My #1
(Score:5, Interesting)(Last Journal: Sunday November 06, @11:30PM)
Huygen's Disclosure
(Score:1)(http://www.siobhan.ca/)
Spoiler Warning: Each point of an advancing wave front is in fact the center of a fresh disturbance and the source of a new train of waves; and the advancing wave as a whole may be regarded as the sum of all the secondary waves arising from points in the medium already traversed. Sign us up!
Awesome Possum
(Score:2)(http://www.kaejae-worx.com/don/index.htm | Last Journal: Tuesday April 04, @12:09PM)
The article says this about the 1994 game Awesome Possum:
Um, no it's not. I believe Berzerk was one of (if not the) first games to use digitized voice...and that was fourteen years before Awesome Possum. Why does does it seem that so many online video game reviewers/reporters/etc. think video games were invented in the mid-nineties?
Ob. Simpsons
(Score:2)(http://qntm.org/ | Last Journal: Saturday May 06, @10:26AM)
I could be alone in this
(Score:2)(http://qntm.org/ | Last Journal: Saturday May 06, @10:26AM)
...but I always thought most videogame consoles had lousy names. I mean, to start with. Did anybody else here think "GameCube" was a dumb name for a console? At least compared to its codename, Dolphin. Xbox? PlayStation - sounds like a pre-school toy. SNES? MegaDrive? Game Boy? Just think about them for a while. Tell me I'm not the only one who thinks this.
Of course, the fact of the matter is that console names grow on you after a short while. Like a joke getting old quickly. Nobody would dream of laughing at the names PlayStation or Game Boy nowadays. Six months from now nobody will raise an eyebrow at the name of the Nintendo Wii.
And, for some reason, the consoles with relatively "sophisticated" names - Phantom, Nuon, Jaguar, anybody? - tend to sink without trace...
Lets find Worst names not Weirdest
(Score:2)(http://www.portcommodore.com/)
I would say "Worst Names" are names of games that fall under not living up to the games thaey are associated with, such as "Final Fantasy" (which is now up to 'Final' number 12?)
Anything that is 'ultimate' would also apply. As mentioned "Microsoft Works" gets a lot of such ribbing for general purpose apps. I guess also for a name to be the worst also would be an offenseive in some way or other, which had lead to the sbysmal sale of whatever it was on (even if it was good). So "Microsoft Genuine Advanatage" (advantage for?) or "Plays For Sure" (for sure, anythjing??) would fall into thhe worst names category. I got another one "Nintendo Virtual Boy\" probably one of the worst uses for Virtual in a game!
Zombies vs. Ambulance
(Score:2)FUN! [1up.com]
New lows in modern names.
(Score:2)Peter Jackson's King Kong: The Official Game of the Movie
Make fun of Ninja Hamster and Cacoma Knight in Bizyland all you want, but at least those game titles dont sound like a press release to some merchandising tie-in.
What's so bad about Jumpman?
(Score:1)"Syphon Filter" surely takes the cake...
(Score:1)what? no S.C.A.T.?
(Score:1)What about Revengers of Vengeance?
(Score:1)(http://www.ksoftgames.digibase.ca/)
Drag-On Dragoon
(Score:2)(http://www.ericbarker.com/ | Last Journal: Thursday February 23, @10:37PM)
Boong-Ga Boong-Ga
(Score:1)I'd like to cast my Vote for:
(Score:2)(http://www.mrcopilot.com/ | Last Journal: Tuesday August 02, @11:10AM)
Half-Life
Half-Life 2
Half-Life 2: Episode 1
Divine Divinity
(Score:1)Best title evar: Zombies Ate My Neighbors. luh dat
Nuts & Milk
(Score:2)(http://www.geocities...atepower_gangsta.htm)
FTFA : "Hey! You got your nuts in my milk! Hey! You got your milk on my nuts! Mmmmm."
Am I the only one surprised that they didn't come up with : "Hey! I got milk in my nuts!" instead?
Re:Geek fistfight!?
(Score:2, Funny)I am at a loss to explain it but there seems to be a relationship between the word king and donkey in Japanese at lease when translating it into English because I have seen this in other places.
Re:Geek fistfight!?
(Score:5, Informative)(http://slashdot.org/)
Unfortunately, I can't remember the source, so take it as you will.
In an interview with Miyamoto, he said that he wanted to call the game "Stubborn Monkey" (because the monkey wouldn't give Jumpman/Mario's woman back). After the standard Engrish translation, Stubborn became Dnokey, and Monkey became Kong, giving us the title we've been seeing for the last quarter-century.
Re:Yes!
(Score:1)(http://www.plur.ca/)
Re:WTF?? No ET the Extraterresterial?
(Score:2)Re:I disagree with #47 completely
(Score:2)(http://slashdot.org/)
Re:"Wargasm" and "If It Moves, Shoot It"
(Score:5, Informative)Re:"Wargasm" and "If It Moves, Shoot It"
(Score:4, Funny)(http://slashdot.org/)
Re:Geek fistfight!?
(Score:4, Funny)(http://www.eggytoast.com/)
Miyamoto's said as much in his interviews.
Except...
(Score:4, Insightful)(http://jekkal.livejournal.com/)
Re:Superman 64
(Score:1)Re:Gamespot's Take
(Score:2)Re:Um Jammer Lammy
(Score:1)(http://crummysocks.com/)
Re:Gamespot's Take
(Score:1)(http://www.kyru.net/)
They're rating the names
(Score:2)(http://wakkah.net/)
Worst Game *Name* Ever
(Score:1)Re:Worst game ever
(Score:1)(Last Journal: Monday January 06, @11:36PM)
Re:Worst game ever
(Score:2)(http://kisrael.com/)
For starters: the name is a reasonably clever reduction of Ping Pong.
Heh, and some people got into it, at least enouugh so that it had its own strategy guide [gamespy.com]!
The gameplay works well because of the ricochet mechanic: you want to get the ball on the corner of your bat so it's a sharper angle, but go too far and you'll miss it.
Of course I might be biased, I wrote a sequel to it that combines it with Joust on the Atari 2600: JoustPong / Flap-Ping [alienbill.com] (Atari's lawyers are still cranky about the name "Pong"....) If you thought the control scheme of Pong was simple...JoustPong just needs a single click pushbutton!
Re:Worst MOD ever!
(Score:2)Mod that "funny"... unless you're serious
(Score:2)My older brother and I, back when we slept in bunk beds, used to shine flashlights and chase each other's lights around the ceiling. Come to think of it, that was before Pong rocked our world. The flashlight game was a lot of fun.
How well I remember that epochal moment when, at Grandma's house on vacation, we discovered Pong. Grandma had it connected to her remote controlled TV set. (The remote caused the physical channel dial to turn, ka-chunk ka-chunk, around.) Pong was a heck of a party game, mostly because you couldn't play it solo. The AI for a computer paddle opponent wasn't quite there yet.
On the plus side: essentially no load time! Flip the switch and it's on, baby.
Re:I have it!
(Score:1)Re:Geek fistfight!?
(Score:2)(http://qntm.org/ | Last Journal: Saturday May 06, @10:26AM)
Re:Superman 64
(Score:1)Re:Geek fistfight!?
(Score:2)(http://sharpy.xox.pl/ | Last Journal: Wednesday September 14, @03:12PM)
Look, the explaination donkey=stubborn may be somewhat logical. But that's like Shortieflakey instead of Microsoft!
Re:"Wargasm" and "If It Moves, Shoot It"
(Score:1)