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Tough Love Part 92; Part 2
Hey guys. Thereâ??s been much talk about this site becoming a ghost town, but I HADNâ??T given up. I just have alota things Iâ??m REQUIRED to do, so before you know it, the weekend pasts, and I hadnâ??t posted a thang, other than what goes on in my mind, therefore, Iâ??m posting NOE. I hadnâ??t given up :) -Aariyan @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Chapter 92; Part 2 Hard Questions to Ask Part 2 â??Michael, what about your solo career other than â??Destinyâ??? Are you going to do anything with that?â? Michael pauses long enough in his stride to let me know I mustâ??ve struck a chord. He turns around and tells me, â??Yes, thatâ??s already being taken care ofâ?¦.Iâ??m working with Quincy on that.â? â??But what, slow up,â? I say as I follow Michael on his heels all the way to his room. â??Whatâ??s your concept for the album? What are you going to talk about? How is this going to change things with you and your brothers? How is â??Destinyâ?? even doing?â? â??Hold on with those all those questions, Lyric.â? Michael says as he closes his door behind him. â??Okay,â? I say as I cross my arms across my chest. â??Câ??mere,â? he basically takes my hand and leads us to his bed. I cross my legs as I wait for him to answer. â??I donâ??t know all about that yet, Lyric. I just started on this album this month.â? â??But whatâ??s with the rush? You JUST released one with your brothers.â? â??Well why wait? Iâ??m not getting any younger. Plus I havenâ??t had any successful solo albums since â??Benâ??, I need to reestablish myself as a solo act.â? â??But Michael we all know you can stand alone by yourself.â? â??Well how can you say that? My voice was starting to change during â??Music & Meâ??, and it TOTALLY changed during â??Forever Michaelâ??. So thereâ??s no way to cover it up.â? â??Well you said you were working on this album with Quincy. This mustâ??ve happened during â??The Wizâ??.â? He nods his head. â??You catch on fast.â? Then Michael smiles. I sit there, trying to let all that soak in. â??But I donâ??t want this album to be another Jacksons album. Like Iâ??ve probably said before, I want â??MICHAEL JACKSONâ?? written all throughout the music, not just â??Michael AND HIS BROTHERSâ??. Thatâ??s not what Iâ??m looking for this time around.â? â??Why not?â? â??Because I love performing. Performing is my LIFE!â? I look down, but I WONâ??T let Michael see my defeat. â??Ohâ?¦.Do you know when it might be released?â? He shrugs. â??Have no idea. Maybe some time when I turn twenty-one.â? â??You sound really ambitious.â? I admit. â??Well this is what I love to doâ?¦.Thereâ??s no other way around it.â? Michael looks in my eyes again and shrugs. â??But I DO love having a normal life and just hanging out like everyone else. And you know I wonâ??t forget you.â? I smile, feeling a little burning in my chest. â??I wonâ??t forget you either, Michaelâ?¦.But say Michael, why wonâ??t you just have another variety show with your family? I was SO upset when yâ??all ended yâ??all show early in â??77. It always set off my Wednesday s nights.â? â??Uggh,â? he says. â??I hated that show.â? â??What?â? â??Lyric, that was something my FATHER signed me up for. I was outvotedâ??five against one measly vote.â? â??But Michael, yâ??all had to be one of the first black families to ever have a TV series like that. How can you NOT be happy about it?â? â??Because Iâ??m a perfectionist Lyric. I KNOW I wasnâ??t well-prepared going out on that stage being live and all in-front of an audience. Plus the schedule was already grueling, but yet I didnâ??t feel well enough. That makes no sense to me.â? â??Butâ?¦what?â? I try my best to scramble up for words. â??*â??I hated every minute of it.â?? Plus there was MORE trouble by letting that stupid show air.â? â??How so?â? â??You wanna know why it ended so early?â? â??Sure.â? â??Because there was this aid that was shown in the TV Guide with our old name as â??the Jackson 5â??, so we ended up being sued and had to pay out about two million. To me it just wasnâ??t worth it. That couldâ??ve been two million in our pockets saved!â? I start to rub Michaelâ??s back because he was worked up. â??Itâ??s okay Michael. You can say you survived it,â? I give a weak smile. â??Yeah, but at what cost. Motown had to play dirtball with us, and just prove me right. I donâ??t understand.â? He shakes his head. â??Well maybe that why youâ??re making your own solo album now.â? My smile broadens as Iâ??m trying to make things better for him. â??Well itâ??s about time now anyways. Eighteen seemed more like the appropriate time, but with the move from Motown and such, my own wants had to be pushed aside for the whole team.â? â??Whatâ??s the rush Michael?â? â??Like Iâ??ve said before, Iâ??m not getting any younger Lyric. So why am I going to let my father and whoever else make decisions for me?â? Iâ??m surprised when Michael expects me to give him an answer. â??See what I mean? Even YOU donâ??t have an answer for that. And Josephâ??s are just unintelligent. He wonâ??t look at the real picture on purpose.â? My eyes start to shift a little. I never knew Michael had these many grievances. â??I just need to find my own purpose Lyric. I need to be independent from my family. Iâ??m my own man.â? â??â?¦Well, why wonâ??t you tell them what youâ??re telling me?â? â??They wonâ??t listen to me. And once I do make changes, it has to be for real. Theyâ??re going to have to know I mean what I say.â? â??Michaelâ??â? â??Thereâ??s no â??Michaelâ?? about it Lyric. I actually MEAN it. Iâ??m my own man.â? Damn, he was so adamant about this. â??Is this just for your career?â? â??No!â? he basically barks. â??This is for my personal life, too. My dating life included.â? Then he glances at me and looks at his TV again. â??Wellâ?¦when you DO become this mega starlight, donâ??t forget about your good â??ole friend, Alaric sitting here.â? I smile and wave my hand once. He looks and smiles. â??Oh trust me, I wonâ??t. But whatâ??s this I hear about Hugh wanting you to do this favor for him?â? Oh my gosh, so Hugh doesnâ??t want me to tell anybody about this, but heâ??s hinting to Michael. I basically canâ??t lose too much if I go on and tell Michael myself. Or at least some of it. â??Hugh thinks I can sing a little and wants me to try to write a song.â? â??Oh!â? Michael looks at me intently. â??Really?â? â??Yeah. I tried getting out of it but he insists, so Iâ??m like, â??Why not?â?? Iâ??ll try it out but I canâ??t make any promises.â? â??Well for that matter, you better get on it!â? â??Yeah whatever.â? I roll my eyes. â??But you really should be careful.â? â??See what I mean? Thatâ??s why I donâ??t wanna try it now. People are ALREADY criticizing me.â? â??Lyric, I just want you to know show business is not just a day in the park.â? â??Thatâ??s the thing RIGHT THERE! Everyone just ASSUMES all I want to do it ACT, but I also like writing, and Iâ??m considering being a social activist. I also like helping out the world, and maybe want to minor in politics, but no one wants to believe me because they say the face doesnâ??t fit the career. I just donâ??t get it. The United States Secretary of State even crossed my mind in my freshmen year, but I ALWAYS knew I wanted to have fun with my career, but also connect with people and have them singing their my songs like I did with yâ??all. But no one believes that. I mean Dad was like hats off to meâ??with him being known in the political areaâ??but I donâ??t know WHAT Dad wants me to be. I just think he wants me to be his little girl for the rest of our lives.â? â??Probably does,â? Michael smiles. â??Itâ??s quite obvious. But itâ??s what YOU wanna do. We canâ??t make that decision for you. I just want you to be careful if you DO go in show business. You might feel so special one day, then like a washed up star the next. Self-esteem is a BIG factor, so thatâ??s why itâ??s important to have a thick skin. And I know how you lash out sometimes. Plus show business deals arenâ??t always fair.â? â??I know this Michael. And Iâ??m not saying I have all the answers, I just want you to have faith in me.â? â??I doâ?¦I mean I think I do.â? I gasp. â??Iâ??m just afraid how youâ??ll act with all that exposure on you. Thatâ??s why I donâ??t mind being your mentor.â? Michael says that with so much punctuality and certainty that I know Michael is basically TELLING and not ASKING. â??I just think itâ??s best. I have your best interest at heart; trust me.â? â??Oh, how Iâ??ve hears THAT before!â? I half-joke and laugh. â??Oh Iâ??m not joking Lyric. I want the best for you.â? I slowly smile a closed-tooth one. â??I know. But now you can see why I didnâ??t want â??The Jacksons Variety Showâ?? to end. I ALWAYS wanted to appear on it, but I knew it wasnâ??t possible because I lived in Ohio at the time.â? â??WAIT, I thought you told me Chicago.â? â??Yeah, thatâ??s what I meant.â? â??But Lyric, this isnâ??t the first time youâ??ve done this,â? he coolly says. â??Is it Chicago or what?â? Heâ??s staring me in my eyes, and I know I HAVE to shed some truth towards him. So I breathe in deeply. â??Michael when I says Chicago, I actually mean Ohio. Cleveland to be specific.â? â??Then why do you always says Chicago?â? â??Because itâ??s close enough to me.â? â??And? Whatâ??s so bad about Cleveland?â? Then it was like Michael catches himself because he gasps and he covers his mouth. â??Lyric, Iâ??m sorry about that.â? â??Itâ??s okay Michael.â? â??No itâ??s not.â? â??Iâ??m still living.â? â??But like I said earlier, you had to â??surviveâ?? this ordeal at too much of a cost. That isnâ??t right and we both know it.â? I look down. â??You are taught to trust your teachers right? To give them the warmest respect and adore them?â? â??â?¦Yeah.â? â??When Mom got remarried, she married my teacher, Quentin.â? â??Yeah?â? â??Well I had a crush on Mr. Quentin Patrick Dempsey. He was so handsome and VERY charismatic. He could make even a girl like me have butterflies in her stomach.â? Michael breathes in and says, â??Lyric, what are you trying to tell me?â? I look at Michael as tears are swelling up in my eyes. He mutes the TV. â??Michaelâ?¦my TEACHER,â? I swallow hard. Should I tell him this? This SECRET is something hidden way down into my soul. Iâ??ve tried burying it since itâ??s been going on. â??He molested me Michael. He was the first to do that to me.â? I breath in. â??He took advantage of my typical crush on a teacher and twisted it into something ugly.â? I look down at Michaelâ??s hand tightening on mine along with his eyes that had widened. I shake my head. â??How,â? he croaks, then he clears his throat and tries again. â??How did this start? When did it?â? As of now, we were laying on our tummies, facing the TV. â??Well this was when I was younger. Quentinâ??s an English teacher, and when my teacher left to go on leave because she was pregnant. He substituted for her. Soon as he came to my school, the big word on campus was this handsome teacher that was subbing for Mrs. Pratt. And when I saw him, I immediately TOO got a crush on him. It was basically true on every girlsâ??s face, and we were always so giggly about him once we left class and talked about it during lunch. Now that I look back, I know FOR A FACT that Quentin knew all of us liked him. I just know he picked out his prey from the pack.â? I look at Michael because I know he had a response, but he wasnâ??t saying anything. â??Michael itâ??s okay if you ask me something.â?I breathe in. â??How did you knowâ?¦that he liked you?â? â??Well at my school, we had this club for people who like literature, and we would compete amongst other schools. We could memorize a piece and present it to an audience, or even write competitively. I was working on doing both. That meant that I had to spend a lot of time with Quentin after school, but I wasnâ??t the only one had to. I just think I was the only one that got caught up.â? â??Yeah?â? â??So on some days, Quentin would have to drive me home, and from there, Mom and I REALLY started trusting Quentin as a trustworthy teacherâ?¦.Then one day, he starts to go on about how he didnâ??t feel like he had much of a purpose in life. On another occasion, he showed pictures of himself in high school, and I start to comment on themâ??how I thought he was handsome, but I tried my best to stay as appropriate as possible. But now that I look back, I know he was egging me on so I could fall in his trap. One day Quentin just leans over and kisses me. He gives me this firm peck, and everything in me tingles. My heart beats harder. I know it was wrong, but at the same time, I was kinda curious. I knew about good-touch/bad-touch, but I also enjoyed it. Then he kisses me again and I accept it. I remember going home that night, keeping that secret close to my heart. I kept having recurring dreams that night of Quentin kissing me.â? I shake my head. â??You could say I had already become too cozy with him. I was amused by his last name and adored him smile, so I had asked him I could call him Mr. Dimples instead of Mr. Dempsey. He said yes. But it was on a Saturday when Mom was at work, and I think Dad was too. I was supposed to be at school with a group of other kids at school for the literature competition. Quentin picked me up, and when I noticed we werenâ??t going towards the school, he said practice would be somewhere else. Long story short, we ended up at some place outside of town. Quentin says he used to like to go there when he was younger and just think. It was this old shack surrounded by tall yellow grass.â? The words start to get hard for me. â??He had this picnic food set up and we ate a little in the shack. Then he gets me to go in the backyard Michaelâ?¦.Then heâ?¦â? the memories are flooding back and I sit up, holding my ears, wanting them to leave me alone. â??Then heâ?¦.â?I feel Michaelâ??s arms wraparound me. â??Then he RAPED ME Michael!â? My tears start to overwhelm me. â??I still remember how it felt to me. Every push! Every pull out. I remember the grunts. I remember feeling helpless; of feeling so EXPOSED!â? Now Iâ??m screaming. â??Michael just make it go AWAY!!â? â??Iâ??m here Lyric, Iâ??m here.â? he tries holding onto me, but I push him away, feeling stripped and worked up. I fall on the floor as I try getting off the bed. â??What did I do to deserve this?!â? I scream to no one but God. â??Why ME?!â? My tears are so rough that I canâ??t catch my breath fast enough because my tears keep coming. Michael tries comforting me, but I keep dangerously elbowing him, just wanting him to leave me there to die. I donâ??t know how Michael was able to get me under control, but I heard him praying some. â??Itâ??s okay,â? he kept rocking me. Every time I tried running from him, heâ??d grip me harder, determined to let me not let these feelings manifest themselves any longer. â??I feel like Iâ??m dying,â? I kept whispering. â??You are NOT going to die Lyric. Itâ??s not in Godâ??s plan.â? I sit up and continue to cry. â??But sometimes I feel like it Michael. Why do you think I would cut myself sometimes?â? â??Do your parents know about this?â? â??About what?â? â??About any of this.â? â??No,â? I adamantly shake my head. â??And thatâ??s why I didnâ??t want to tell you. Toni Sullivan knew I would cut myself. Quentin and Toni would go back-to-back with me without even knowing.â? I gasp for air. â??And then it was Toniâ??s practical twin, Adam.â? The extreme tears start to come, and thatâ??s when I fall on the floor again. Michael has to hold me close. â??If you donâ??t want to talk about this anymore Lyric, you donâ??t have to.â? Heâ??s even patient when I wipe my face and blow my nose on his shirt since I had already gotten it messy. He gets me tissue and changes his shirt. â??Iâ??m so sorry about this,â? I say as I try to sniffle. â??No itâ??s fine. You need to air some of those troubling feelings out at any cost.â? I start to cry again, but he rocks us again. â??Michaelâ?¦stop making me fall asleep,â? I eventually say as I notice my leads grew very heavy, but he just shushes me. Then I felt a peck on my cheek before I notice I had hit his cold pillow and had fallen asleep. I wake up to the breakfast aroma. I still looked a little pale, but a little more restful, so I go in the kitchen to investigate on what Michael was doing. Then I looked at the clock on the stove. It was a little after 8:30. â??What are you doing cooking breakfast?â? â??I wanted to make some for you and make sure you didnâ??t have to worry about it this morning.â? After momentarily silence and I cross my arms, Michael goes back to cooking. â??Thank you.â? He looks at me and nods. I go up and hug him without him knowing I was going to. Michael turns around and hugs me back. â??Thank you,â? I say this time pertaining to the talk. â??For what?â? â??For letting me trust you.â? But I faced a new problem. â??But now I feel weird. Especially around you.â? â??Well I guess the more you say it, the more itâ??ll become more easier to say. Maybe if you tell your parentsâ??â? â??See Michael, no! Thatâ??s why I didnâ??t want to tell you. I KNEW youâ??d want me to tell them. Now I KNOW youâ??re going to make tell them or put me through some guilt trip.â? â??No,â? he walks towards me. â??That was EXACTLY what I was going to try to avoid. I know this is something youâ??ll have to tell them when youâ??re ready, but I just wanted to help you through this by doing whatever it was you needed me to do.â? A tear comes in my right eye again. â??Youâ??re just saying that Michael.â? â??I MEAN it Lyric. Donâ??t ever doubt me on that. I have your back. Iâ??d NEVER want to see you get hurt again.â? He tightly embraces me. â??Michaelâ?¦.â? he picks me up and sits me on the couch in the living room as I wait for the food to be ready. Michael sits it on the glass table and he sits on the floor on the other end of the table as he starts to eat, but I still felt naked in a sense. And I was also cold, so I moved my plate closer to his and crawled in his lap. At first I could tell he deep down, he wanted to push me off, but he leaves me content sitting right there, which I was grateful for. The phone rings then, and as I answer it, I suddenly remember my voice isnâ??t quite ready to start talking again, but Iâ??m able to manage a decent hello. â??Lyric is that you? How has my son been treating you? The last time I heard he told me you were peacefully sleeping.â? That had to be not too long ago. But only if she knew what CAUSED me to fall asleep so deep. â??Michael has been great Katherine.â? I look over at him and smile, though it was obvious that he didnâ??t WHY I was smiling at him. I was just happy to have Michael around. Once I hanged up with his influential mother, I take Michael dishes along with mine and start washing them. When I turned around, while I wiped my hands with a paper towel, I see Michael looking at me with this twinkle in his eye and his head leaning to the side. â??Whaaat?â? I tease him as I lean my head to match with his. I throw my arms over his shoulders while he leans us down, and he swiftly moves us up again. â??What are you glowing about?â? â??I just thought about something.â? I throw my arms to my sides. â??Yeah?â? his was still around my waist. â??You say you like to dance; and youâ??ve tap danced on the variety show.â? â??What are you saying exactly?â? â??Could you teach me to tap dance?â? He sighs. â??Lyyrriicc,â? he drawls out my name. â??Pwease,â? I practically beg. â??Iâ??ll try my best on a song.â? â??Choose a song; any song. It really DOES NOT matter to me. You should remember the songs youâ??ve tap danced to.â? â??But itâ??s not like I brought any tap dancing shoes with me.â? â??Oh,â? I look down. â??Well what about some shoes you always dance in? I know you have some like those.â? â??Theyâ??re probably too big for you.â? It only takes me a second to respond. â??I donâ??t care Michael. I just want to wear some. Like I really enjoyed the routine you did on the episode when yâ??all performed â??Flat Foot Foogieâ??, but of course thereâ??s others.â? After thinking for a second, he drops his arms and goes towards his room as he says, â??Let me see what I can find.â? â??See, I told you you had SOMETHING. Your dress shoes counts too, Michael.â? â??Yeah, yeah whatever. But you might look silly with wearing some knee-high socks and some shoes too big for you while in shorts.â? â??I donâ??t care Michael. Does it look like I care?â? He shakes his head. â??No.â? â??Then letâ??s get to it!â? He rolls his eyes but grabs both of us a pair and finds starts mimicking the music from when he tap danced with the Nicholas Brothers. â??Michael are you kidding me?! That was one of your hardest tap dancing routines on the show!â? â??I know. And I wanna see how you catch on. Let me see if I can find that clip as a matter-of-fact.â? While he was looking for one, I was praying he wouldnâ??t, but he does! â??Hmm, thatâ??s convenient. Let me watch it for a second to refresh my memory.â? Michael fast-forwards him and his family all the way up to the tap dancing sequence when he announces the Nicholas Brothers. I watch him sit on the edge of the single recliner and study the clip. â??Hey, you better watch this too if you want to get better.â? So he replays it one last time, and I try my best to remember the sequence. But as he gets up and leads us outside on the porch, I become immediately shy about this. â??Michael I donâ??t know if I can do this.â? â??Aww itâ??s just in your head. the best thing you CAN do is to not get intimidated. You said youâ??ve cheered before, right?â? I nod, â??Yes.â? â??And you said if you let yourself get behind, then youâ??ll be stuck looking stupid. Well keep that same concept here so you can stay on top of your game.â? Thatâ??s when I knew it was up to me to put in the effort to catch up and match Michaelâ??s excellence. Like most choreographers, Michael taught me the dance in sequences, and weâ??d piece them as we go along. After a while, I was able to catch up to pace, and I could tell that made Michael happy. Then he starts to freestyle with his feet. Obviously heâ??s charging me with a comeback. So I do a little step and spin in a small circle. Then Michael jerks his hips and points back at me. I smile, roll my eyes, then tap dance around him in a circle and bump him with my hip. â??Okay, thatâ??s it. Iâ??ve taught her to tap dance some ladies and gentlemen. She just won this competition.â? I smile and give Michael a hug. â??No I didnâ??t. We both did very well.â? I broadly smile again and give Michaelâ??s nose a kiss. â??I couldnâ??t have done this without you.â? Then I felt this panging pain in my chest. I start to cough but that seems to make things worse. â??Is everything fine?â? Michael asks with concern in his eyes. I try nodding my head, but even Iâ??M not convinced. â??I think I need some water,â? I can barely say. It actually feels like Iâ??m experiencing a heartburn. â??What day is it today anyways?â? â??December 22nd I believe.â? â??Okay.â? Michael gets me some water. He tries to slowly help me drink some, but I only spit out. â??I think Iâ??m better off without it.â? He hits my back while I get all the constraints out. When my coughing subsides, I tell Michael I feel better. He keeps checking to see if I feel better. â??TRUST ME. I do.â? Michael finally takes me on my word. And as he takes off his shoes and socks for me, Iâ??m smiling on the inside because I think I know something Michael Jackson doesnâ??t know, which is, Iâ??ve figured out Michael cares about me more than he thinks. And my eyes travel with him as he walks to his room. To be honest, I kinda want to close the door behind us, but for another reason this time around. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I know you probably noticed the â??*â? and. That means I grabbed these words from DIRECT quotes or wording from different sources because I know Iâ??m probably going to use more like that in the future :) But other than that, what did you think? I hadnâ??t lost my touch, have I? Plus when Lyric got that heartburn, and the date happens to be Friday, December 22, the date actually MEANS something, and I posted that last year when it was actually December 22, 2011. I just want you to have that date pushed in the back of your mind because one day in the story, itâ??ll actually MEAN something important :) -But other than that, yours truly Aariyan :) **Also, I didn't choose the name "Quentin Patrick Dempsey" to personally antagonize actor Patrick Demsey, I just know the step-father/teacher character is VERY important in the developement of Lyric as a person. I've been trying to figure out who I wanted to be that Quentin character and the whole name was catchy, so I used Patrick Dempsey for this character. I just wanted that to be clear. But vote up PLEEAASE :)!
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