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Tough Love Part 19; Part 2
- read up! 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) Chapter 19 Part 2 Hot & Needy â??Well, since I was little, I canâ??t even remember calling Joseph â??dadâ?? or â??fatherâ??. He was just always Joseph to us. He being our father was always understood. Joseph wanted us to call him that, so whatever Joseph wants, he always found a way of getting it.â? â??So, what is he? Is he really controlling?â? Okay, I felt really bad for even saying that. â??Sorta.â? He said, nodding. â??You could say that.â? After looking at his solemn expression for a few seconds, I asked him how. â??That is just Josephâ??s personality, Lyric. He had me twenty years ago, but I still donâ??t understand my father like I should. Thatâ??s why I hate it when I see you arguing and complaining with your father. At least you have that relationship with your father. But you donâ??t call him â??Dadâ??; you call him by his name.â? â??Not always, Michael.â? â??True. But youâ??d only call him dad when you want something, or if heâ??s around.â? â??Thatâ??s because you must know that Iâ??m still get angry when I think about how he was down here in L.A. while I was in Cleveland.â? â??Wait, I thought Chicago.â? â??Yeah, thatâ??s what I meant.â? I said, trying to cover my tracks. â??I remember that we visited Cleveland more than once, so itâ??s stuck in the back of my mind.â? â??Oh, yeah.â? â??But Iâ??m sorta got content with calling him Clarence. Plus itâ??s my own little joke because I think about him as this big-bad cop, but who is called by his first name from his own daughter.â? â??Oh. Haha, but itâ??s not that funny.â? â??Yeah, I guess not.â? â??But back to Joseph, itâ??s just how he was raised too. He likes to say he raised us with â??an iron-fistâ??.â? â??But youâ??re so kind.â? â??Yeah, thatâ??s what I donâ??t get, either. As much as I had harsh treatment, it just seemed to bring the best out of me.â? â??It seemed like God did the â??opposites attractâ?? thing.â? I said with a smile. â??Mhmm.â? He said, smiling a little. â??So, do you guys communicate much?â? â??I mean, thereâ??s not many times Iâ??ll ever see him full out and cry, so in that way, no. We communicate in business terms a lot.â? â??No affection.â? He shook his head no. â??No, not that much. I mean, when it has something to do with girls, then weâ??re all up for it. But we donâ??t talk like we should.â? â??Then make that change.â? I said, my eyes intense towards his face. His beautiful, brown face. Oh no! What am I thinking?! â??You know, youâ??re right. Whether weâ??ll do it or not, you are right.â? He said, looking at me after he said all of that. He looked down again, seeming a little uncertain. â??Hey, you can do it.â? I said squeezing his shoulder a little. â??What I was missing from Joseph, Mother gave me. She is caring. And in a lot of ways, Iâ??m like her.â? I looked at him, and knew he was right. Katie is nice, warm, and patient. In so many ways, she has that in a son. What more could you want? â??It may sound weird though.â? He said as he looked over at me. â??A guy having many of his qualities from his mom.â? â??No, itâ??s not.â? I said shaking my head. â??It only makes a girl smile because she feels like she felt her Prince Charming. Michael, you donâ??t know how many times Iâ??ve weighed out boys in my head. Some were straight up jerks and rude. Some were just friends. Some had no chance at all. Some, I wanted to say yes to, but I didnâ??t want things to change for us. I just feel like Iâ??m wide-open with guys, and I hate that! I hate it when my heart if pinned to my sleeve. Iâ??m a lady, yeah. I just donâ??t act like one all the time.â? â??Then, stop trying to find love in all the wrong places. You have a father sitting at home. Go to him!â? â??But I canâ??t give him the details of all Iâ??ve went through.â? â??Then tell it to me. I wonâ??t tell a soul, Lyric.â? â??Michael, you gotta promise me!â? â??That was a part of the deal, anyway. Of why you donâ??t call your mom anything.â? When he said that, unwillingly, I looked up. I felt defensive anyways. â??Here, take this jacket off.â? He said. After I looked down again, he told me to tell him as much as I desired. Then he squeezed my hand. â??I started reminded my dad of my mom as I grew older. Like him, Iâ??m quiet. Like her, Iâ??m demanding sometimesâ?¦.Sheâ??d say I remind her of herself as the days went by. Even when they were bad. Sheâ??s hardworking, and she takes no bull from anyone. Sheâ??s nice when she wants to be. And as I was going through what I was going through, living with her and being with him was a living hell on my part.â? â??Who is him?â? I looked at Michael. I felt if a rain storm was to come, he wouldnâ??t have been fazed anyways. â??The guy who hurt me. The guy who brought a lot of grown up emotions to me. The guy who is getting on with his life, and now Iâ??m stuck like this.â? Already, tears were swelling up. I wasnâ??t trying to cry, but I couldnâ??t stop it. â??Tell me what you want, Lyric. Weâ??ve got all our lives, if you need it.â? â??All of our lives?â? I said, laughing a little. â??If thatâ??s what you want! I can be your therapist all of your life. I need to mentor somebody anyways.â? â??Who says?â? â??Me. I donâ??t know.â? â??How old is this guy?â? â??Michaelâ??.â? â??How old?â? â??Please.â? I said. â??Okay.â? He said, calming down. â??His smileâ?¦the way his eyes would crinkle up when he laughed. The way he would go all out when he was losing. He was such a character, Michael.â? I said, smiling a little. â??Mom and Dad were having problems. Sometimes I think it was my fault.â? â??Why?â? â??I was trying to have a career. Mom encouraged me, but Dad was so stubborn. My mom wanted a career, so moving out here in the late â??60s is WHY weâ??re here now.â? â??You couldnâ??t have been the only reason why they separated.â? â??My dad always wanted more kids. He wanted his little boy, so we sorta had that type of relationship also. There was this woman my dad knew. He would confide in her. That I know of, he didnâ??t sleep with her, but if we gave them more time, it would have happened. â??My mom didnâ??t mind having another child, but she was sensitive on the topic. One day, my mom was pregnant, when I came home the next day, she wasnâ??t. My mother was so hurt because the doctor suspected her of having twins.â? â??Oh.â? He said, looking up. â??My mom came for me, and we stayed with one of her guy friends. I wasnâ??t too happy about it. I think thatâ??s when my mama changed. â??Some time later, we moved up north. For some time, we stayed with my mamaâ??s friend. Her son wasnâ??t there for a while because he was staying with a friend. Since he was getting into trouble, he moved back.â? â??Andâ???â? â??Donâ??t jump ahead of yourself, Michael. I always had a crush on him when I was little. I didnâ??t see him again until I stayed after for tutoring one day, I believe. When I thought I knew him, he only shook his head in an alarmed way and kept flirting with the girl tutoring him. I left tutoring, obviously bummed and hurt. Sometime later, he came back because his date had to stay home that Friday night. Thatâ??s when he paid attention to me. â??But at first, I wasnâ??t too happy he was eating with us because we took gym together. Weâ??d play volleyball, but he would always tease the girl he knew. I was just always THERE, not looked at.â? â??What grade were you in?â? â??Actually, I was a freshman.â? â??But you told me twelve, Lyric.â? â??Itâ??s a long story thatâ??s gonna take a long time to explain, okay. So Iâ??m just trying to connect the puzzle again. At that time, he was a junior, but everyone knew him by name, it seemed. He was so cool; he was referred to as a seniorâ??not some second class junior.â? â??When did he pay attention to you?â? â??Things sorta gradually came aroundâ??little hints and jokes. I was overwhelmed, and I must say, I was curious, but I didnâ??t wanna keep going. Letâ??s just say, I didnâ??t always have a say-so. I didnâ??t have control.â? â??Why didnâ??t you?â? â??He was hot and needy. Hot and needy equals manipulative.â? I looked up at Michael, and he I couldnâ??t tell what he was thinking. 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) 8*) Well, guys, I hope you like! This isnâ??t it because I still have kinks to work out. And A LOT came from the top of my head, and from other ideas. Bear with me and vote up!! Luv, Aariyan!
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