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THE UGLINESS IN ME

She pretended to see me
Knowing what my eyes told her
I trusted her so
I gave her my hand to guide me
But she pulled me into her
From naivety I fell into temptation
I lost control of thought, of mind
A single flaw
A second of time
I sucked her poison
Then threw her off
Only to discover
It’s too late to spit it out
I’ve swallowed it down
Intoxicated, my world descends
So fast I can barely catch my breath
With my face in the dirt
I’m suffocating in my guilt
And I look to her for answers
She looked at me without acknowledgement
Turning her back she reassures
“Everything will be okay”
Maybe one day
But she lies
Her lies are in me
A dirty deed
I can’t wash it off
Despite how hard I scour
I can’t alleviate this torture
Tears linger on
I’m drowning in my pillow
She contaminates my mind
Lies, guilt and pain
I choke on her intoxication
I vomit her poison
It’s taking over
Through every vain
I can’ stand to see another scar
But I pick up my blade
Tears aren’t enough
I’ll cut at the pain
I’ll bleed it out
Then hide the scars
So the world can’t see
The ugliness
That’s now me
---
shortyJay

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